escaping my phone- week one
what i read/watched/listened to, and how i'm doing with my goals
I am trying to build a better, and more fulfilling life, as you may know if you saw my “not another personal curriculum” post. Autumn, the perennial season of going back to school is now my season to try and get my life back from the clutches of the grey box that has consumed me for the past decade or so, the endless pictures and videos of girls prettier than me, clothes I can’t afford or fit into, and cooking videos that are almost certainly the start of a pipeline to make me vote Farage in the next election. Overall, week one has been okay! I’ve not been missing social media as much as I thought, although I have become addicted to (and spent £2.99 on) NYT games, specifically the long crossword, and I might buy a crossword book so I spend less time on my phone. I’ve also caught a cold from my boyfriend- currently I’m just sneezing lots and have a sore throat, but he was pretty wiped out by it, so I’m not excited to see what the sore throat and sneezes turn into!
I have a meeting with a potential PhD advisor this afternoon, which is exciting, and am beginning to work on next week’s longer substack article (it will not be as long as my War and Peace article, don’t worry!). I’m hoping to return to the medieval this week. I’m also going to focus more on editing: I loved researching my last few longer essays, but I know they were very unedited and unwieldy (a friend pointed this out to me privately as well), so my focus this week is on a well researched, tightly written, and well edited essay. I’ve been journalling a lot outside of researching substack articles, and have been doing some more creative writing in my journal, which feels very nice. A week without social media has led to me trying to scroll my home page. I’m very addicted to the dopamine rush, unfortunately.
Essays and articles:
“Use your words: Language and meaning in a world of plastic and propaganda” by Helena Aeberli: Aeberli is a fantastic writer, and this was a fascinating read about language and what it means to lose language. The conclusions drawn, and the way they combined modern discussions of capitalism, Augustine of Hippo, and Aeberli’s personal experiences was a masterclass.
“In Hollywood” from The White Album by Joan Didion: I enjoyed this essay a lot! I’m unsure how I feel about The White Album: the world Didion describes is alien to me, which I find intriguing, yet simultaneously I have found myself constantly checking how many pages I have left in some essays. I like Didion’s writing, and I found “In Hollywood” very funny. I also was intrigued by how she discussed Hollywood in the 60s, and how drastically different the cash sums suggested needed for films were then, as opposed to now. I’m enjoying the Sojourns essays more than earlier parts, seeing snapshots of Didion’s life, and being able to compare it to my own.
“Bland, easy to follow, for fans of everything: what has the Netflix algorithm done to our films?” by Phil Hoad: Following “In Hollywood”, I read a long article about how streaming services have changed the face of our cinema. It was deeply depressing, as someone who has been getting more interested in indie cinema recently! However, it was also incredibly interesting to learn how algorithms have changed in recent years. I religiously say if I’ve enjoyed or hated a film on Netflix- I will no longer be doing this, learning that it means nothing. Honestly, the more I see algorithms take over the entertainment industry, the more glad I am that I’m beginning to build a physical collection of media.
“What I See As A Midwife For Pregnant Women in ICE Detention” told to Andrea González-Ramírez: A devastating read. While I’ve known about increased ICE raids in the States, I haven’t been researching the conditions in too much detail- this was illuminating and horrific.
“I love you too!’ My family’s creepy, unsettling week with an AI toy.” by Arwa Mahdawi: This was so eerie. Grimes, please stop.
“In Bed” from The White Album by Joan Didion: This was my favourite of the essays so far. I loved the more scientific aspect- learning about the history of science, particularly the history of psychology and medicine is something I’m very interested in, even though I suck at actual science- and the contrast between the title, suggesting comfort, with the contents of the essay.
Audio:
“Behind the Bastards” by Robert Evans: This podcast has taken over my life. In the past week alone, I’ve listened to 5 hours on L. Ron Hubbard, 3 on Andrew Tate, and 2 on Epstein. If I stopped listening to it, I could definitely get more done! I really recommend it, it’s chilling, and I hate so much of what I learn, but it is fascinating, Evans is an amazing host, and I like how the comedians offer asides. I also love the relationship between Evans and his producer, Sophie Lichterman. I do think, for my own sanity, I should put a timer on how much I’m allowed to listen to a week.
Blue by Joni Mitchell: A beautiful, sad, wonderful album. My favourites are “Little Green”, and “The Last Time I Saw Richard”.
Film and TV shows:
Mad Men, season 6: My boyfriend and I finished season 6 of Mad Men! It has taken us 9 months to get to this point: there was a slight lull in season 4 and 5, but I am now fully back on board. I loved season 6! The ending was fantastic (I will not say too much here because I do not want to spoil this wonderful TV show for anyone, even though it came out over a decade ago). The acting is stellar- my favourite performances are Vincent Kartheiser as Pete Campbell and Christina Hendricks as Joan Harris. Kartheiser makes me laugh so much, as he petulantly goes through life expecting the best of everything, and Hendricks communicates so much silently throughout the series, watching her face as the men around her act is fascinating.
Girls, season 1: Another Helen and boyfriend show. He showed episode one of this to me, and despite cringing a lot, I’m excited to continue watching it. I hate Adam. I hope he dies painfully later in the show.
Priscilla, dir. Sophia Coppola, 2023: A devastating film! I sort of knew Elvis was a bastard, but this wrecked me. It is, however, stunningly shot and fantastically acted. I found the final 20 or so minutes felt slightly disjointed from the rest of the film, but this may have been because I had to split the film, and watched the final 20 minutes after the rest of it. As someone who disliked Marie Antoinette, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this.
Books:
This section of these is going to be boring for a while I’m so sorry!
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace: I’m really enjoying this, though I have not read much this week. I think I will read more next week- my house is still not sorted, and at the moment I don’t have anywhere particularly comfy to read, but my bed is being delivered today, so hopefully that will change. I would love to finish Infinite Jest by October, but I’m not sure that’s possible.
Experiences:
Getting drenched walking home from work: York has been wet this week. Unfortunately, my job involves standing outside, and I then had a walk back from my job. All of my clothes are still damp.
Sorting out my new house: Moving in with my partner has taught me how much shit I have. Sorting out the house is slowly, slightly draining my will to live, but I’m reminding myself how fun and nice and homely everything will be when it’s done. We’re getting to the fun sections now- hanging up pictures, organising books, etc.
Preparing for a new cat?: Hopefully we’ll get a kitten this weekend! Most of this prep has been in my head. I am disgustingly excited, expect lots of photos of her (and a name reveal!) next week if she comes home with us!
I miss crafting a lot, and want to try and do more next week. I’m very slowly finishing a cardigan for a friend, but I also have some embroidery to complete, and want to start making christmas gifts for people soon.
Money:
Trying to be more careful about money has given me a horrifying wake up call to the fact I impulsively buy everything. However, I have not spend this week’s £10, so it will be carrying into next week! I want to save up for Ring Fit Adventure on Switch, as we move closer to winter and exercising outside gets worse: I’m also researching my local gym and swimming pool.
I really want a delfonics journal case, but I know this is a slightly meaningless purchase, and I’m not sure if it’s worth the money. It would be nice to have everything more organised in my bag though….
Italian:
Unfortunately, moving house and working more days than usual has meant I have not done any Italian lessons. I have done more Duolingo than usual, so am still keeping up with it slightly, but have immediately fallen behind my goal. I’m planning to do some lessons on Monday-Tuesday of next week, and am going to try and schedule in a half hour to hour of textbook work and vocab practice a night. I use Lingoda, and also have Lingopie to help me learn, and am going to challenge myself to watch a Lingopie video every morning to ensure I’m hearing Italian as much as possible.